I remember when I was young a friend of mine got me all interested into a singer's music. I adored that singer. I even called her my idol. I remember not really knowing what that word meant, and I also remember when my grandmother told me it was wrong to call her my idol. I didn't understand. She explained how God tells us to not have idols and about a few idols of the Old Testament. Once I understood she meant a golden calf, I told Grandma that wasn't what I meant. She continued to explain, and I continued to try to justify that it was different, but it wasn't.
As I studied God's Word, I learned all idols do not come in the form of golden calves. I learned that a god is whatever takes preeminence over your relationship with God. Ok, whew, glad I got that figured out. However, I still didn't exactly apply it. I struggled with letting college come first, friends, other relationships, etc. I didn't make the connection that allowing those things to be more important than my daily time with God was turning them into little g gods. Skipping quiet time for ice cream once quickly became a habit- a bad habit. I felt the strain in my walk with God, and I couldn't comprehend why. Then I remembered that whole idol thing. So, here we are fast forward many years, and I'm an adult. This week, Yellow Car Boy and I went to Atlanta, and we visited a crowded restaurant and a large public venue. While in the restaurant, I caught myself being anxious to the point of nausea. While at the large venue with all of the people, I found myself wondering if this would be the next location for an attack on America. Again, I was nauseous and all the while trying to maintain my sanity/ enjoy this fun outting with Yellow Car Boy all while grabbing a picture with a cuuuute polar bear. This morning I watched a few news clips, read a few Facebook posts, pondered on the world, and I became overwhelmed with FEAR. A large portion of my life has been spent being insecure about everything from my weight to the safety of my home. (When I was little, I heard coyotes outside, and I was convinced they would find a way to get in the window and have me for a coyote snack.) Unfortunately, that unhealthy fear often creeps up today. 2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. God often resounds this verse in my mind in those moments of shear unsound minded me and moments of fear (G1167-timidity, fear of the unknown or not knowing what to do). Power (G1411-ability, abundance, strength) to encounter difficulties and danger. Love (G26-affection, specifically a love feast) to God which will carry us through any opposition we might experience. Love to God will set us above the fear of man. A sound mind (G4995-discipline, self control) is a peaceable enjoyment of ourselves for we are often discouraged. And yet I often lose my self control, find myself being concerned with the unknown, and losing sight of the love God has for me and the power He has given me through Him. In those moments, I fall apart. I cling to the fears rather than cling to Him. I yearn for security, but I don't seek it in the Creator of this world. I worry. I ponder. I fear. For a moment after watching those news clips, I wondered how I could fortify our house and just not leave again. (No judgment- the news is scary, and I was not having a sound mind. Hence this blog post.) Psa 118:5 I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place. Psa 118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? Mat 10:27 What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops. Mat 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. I'm reading and rereading these verses. I can do the stick my head in the sand thing, or I can press on for the glory of God, and in His strength, retrieve that sound mind. This can apply to many fears we face. Maybe you're scared of rejection? Loneliness? Physical appearance declining? The news? Losing loved ones? Etc. Don't be like me and assume that idols are golden calves. Fear can quickly become a little g god in our lives. When that fear, or whatever our fixation is, becomes more important than our walk with God, we've reached a dangerous place. We often have fears for a reason. Somehow they were placed in our lives. And I think it's ok to be scared. The important thing is to turn to the God of hope and comfort instead of to other outlets like obsession, worry, anxiety, etc. Heavenly Father, help me please to set my eyes upon You. As I watched the news and hear about all of the things going on in our world, I find myself anxious. I find myself trying to rely on my own strength instead of You. God, help me to remember Your love and power and rest in Your big (created the universe) arms and find comfort there. In Jesus Name, Amen.
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