Purchasing a home has been a fun adventure. Yellow Car Boy makes all major decisions very adult like and fun at the same time. He makes life have a wonderful blend of maturity and excitement.
One of my favorite parts, of course, has been decorating this huge blessing God has given us. But my very favorite part is when someone comes over and asks where we found that cool bicycle trinket, or I'm digging through a box, and I'm reminded of the person who that something came from. Gifts are much more than tangible. They're sweet, sweet memories. From bicycle bookends to a kitchen knife block set, from duvets to cutting boards, from hand towels to door mats, from plates to precious cards and pictures, we are often reminded of many wonderful people we share our life with. I love our little home and the love that it is so graciously and abundantly filled with. Praise the Lord for people to walk through life with! Yellow Car Boy and I are incredibly thankful!
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There are many things I enjoy about marriage, but my very favorite may just be the comfort and security.
(Some will read this who are against makeup and some who sleep in makeup. Don't get stuck on the makeup. I'm not promoting or demoting it.) I grew up in a pretty insecure home. There were lots of worries most hours of the day. The bed was never made right. The dishes weren't done correctly. And I was the chubby twin. People seemed to thoroughly enjoy pointing that out when trying to tell us apart. I didn't look very girly until on into high school and finally baby weight started to drop and a friend taught me about eyeshadow and eyeliner. My freckles hate all other makeup. (There was my sixth grade year I attempted to use my mom's makeup. Needless to say that didn't go over well seeing as she was two or three tans deeper than my freckles. There were two days I went to school looking orange and was called an Oompa Loompa. Great memories.) Eventually I learned there were other clothes besides soccer shorts (of which I did not play) and Adidas tshirts. And even then knowing about makeup and clothes, I was still insecure about my appearance. Last night as I got ready for bed, I looked in the mirror, and I saw age on my face (I still feel 20, and forget that I'm not). I saw tired eyes and no makeup. I saw terribly unfixed hair and a less than in shape body in frumpy pajamas, but the most unimaginable thing happened. I talked to Yellow Car Boy. Me in a mess and all, I talked to him. I let him see me in that state, and I was confident. Yellow Car Boy, in all his wonder, has this most amazing way of making me feel secure in all states of appearance- even the not so great ones. I often hear Yellow Car Boy talk about the importance in marriage of a your spouse being the most beautiful person to you. There can be no one more beautiful, funny, etc. Your spouse is your person. Your spouse is your help mate, and your spouse should be the very best. This is not defined by the world but by the desires God gives us. In a world where insecurity about appearance is ever growing, I encourage single ladies to pray for a husband that makes you feel beautiful even when you don't feel beautiful. I encourage wives to lift their husbands up in all areas of life and let them be the most handsome, the funniest, the bravest, the best to you. He will become what you think of him. Lift him up. Encourage. I'm forever grateful for a husband that makes me feel like the apple of his eye. Let's edify. Humble confidence is a beautiful thing. I remember when I was young a friend of mine got me all interested into a singer's music. I adored that singer. I even called her my idol. I remember not really knowing what that word meant, and I also remember when my grandmother told me it was wrong to call her my idol. I didn't understand. She explained how God tells us to not have idols and about a few idols of the Old Testament. Once I understood she meant a golden calf, I told Grandma that wasn't what I meant. She continued to explain, and I continued to try to justify that it was different, but it wasn't.
As I studied God's Word, I learned all idols do not come in the form of golden calves. I learned that a god is whatever takes preeminence over your relationship with God. Ok, whew, glad I got that figured out. However, I still didn't exactly apply it. I struggled with letting college come first, friends, other relationships, etc. I didn't make the connection that allowing those things to be more important than my daily time with God was turning them into little g gods. Skipping quiet time for ice cream once quickly became a habit- a bad habit. I felt the strain in my walk with God, and I couldn't comprehend why. Then I remembered that whole idol thing. So, here we are fast forward many years, and I'm an adult. This week, Yellow Car Boy and I went to Atlanta, and we visited a crowded restaurant and a large public venue. While in the restaurant, I caught myself being anxious to the point of nausea. While at the large venue with all of the people, I found myself wondering if this would be the next location for an attack on America. Again, I was nauseous and all the while trying to maintain my sanity/ enjoy this fun outting with Yellow Car Boy all while grabbing a picture with a cuuuute polar bear. This morning I watched a few news clips, read a few Facebook posts, pondered on the world, and I became overwhelmed with FEAR. A large portion of my life has been spent being insecure about everything from my weight to the safety of my home. (When I was little, I heard coyotes outside, and I was convinced they would find a way to get in the window and have me for a coyote snack.) Unfortunately, that unhealthy fear often creeps up today. 2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. God often resounds this verse in my mind in those moments of shear unsound minded me and moments of fear (G1167-timidity, fear of the unknown or not knowing what to do). Power (G1411-ability, abundance, strength) to encounter difficulties and danger. Love (G26-affection, specifically a love feast) to God which will carry us through any opposition we might experience. Love to God will set us above the fear of man. A sound mind (G4995-discipline, self control) is a peaceable enjoyment of ourselves for we are often discouraged. And yet I often lose my self control, find myself being concerned with the unknown, and losing sight of the love God has for me and the power He has given me through Him. In those moments, I fall apart. I cling to the fears rather than cling to Him. I yearn for security, but I don't seek it in the Creator of this world. I worry. I ponder. I fear. For a moment after watching those news clips, I wondered how I could fortify our house and just not leave again. (No judgment- the news is scary, and I was not having a sound mind. Hence this blog post.) Psa 118:5 I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place. Psa 118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? Mat 10:27 What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops. Mat 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. I'm reading and rereading these verses. I can do the stick my head in the sand thing, or I can press on for the glory of God, and in His strength, retrieve that sound mind. This can apply to many fears we face. Maybe you're scared of rejection? Loneliness? Physical appearance declining? The news? Losing loved ones? Etc. Don't be like me and assume that idols are golden calves. Fear can quickly become a little g god in our lives. When that fear, or whatever our fixation is, becomes more important than our walk with God, we've reached a dangerous place. We often have fears for a reason. Somehow they were placed in our lives. And I think it's ok to be scared. The important thing is to turn to the God of hope and comfort instead of to other outlets like obsession, worry, anxiety, etc. Heavenly Father, help me please to set my eyes upon You. As I watched the news and hear about all of the things going on in our world, I find myself anxious. I find myself trying to rely on my own strength instead of You. God, help me to remember Your love and power and rest in Your big (created the universe) arms and find comfort there. In Jesus Name, Amen. Yellow car boy and I went on a dinner date with some friends of ours the night before my summer science camp began. As we headed down the road, in a very yellow car boy way, he began asking if I knew where to go the next day. Very confidently I said yes, but this prompted me to reread the email I may or may not have breezed through earlier. Upon this reread, I discovered I did know what room I would be teaching in, but where I thought I needed to park was incorrect. Had I not reread this email, I would've received a lovely ticket. Well this discovery lead to a trip to campus to ensure I knew where I was going. I am directionally challenged and in moments of directional choices, I panic which leads to getting lost. This trip lead to a conversation about doughnuts, and this lead to Krispy Kreme.
We decided to circle back around and just see if the hot sign was on. As we approach the guilt kicks in, and I begin trying to talk us out of it. As It attempted to talk us out of it, we talked ourselves into it (we don't frequent the dessert places much). in. The drive thru line wasn't long, so I suggested that. Yellow car boy had decisions to make though and wanted to go in. We park, go in, get the donuts, and we exit. As we exit, I dig through my black hole of a purse. I can't find the keys. Clearly my purse had eaten the keys. They had to be somewhere. Yellow car boy digs through his pockets. No keys. I dig through the black whole. No keys. It's getting late. We approach the car to find locked doors and keys (the keys were inside the car with locked doors- oops). We look at each other trying to determine a plan of action. We call yellow car boy's precious mom who left her social gathering to bring us the spare. Yellow car boy and I had some time to kill and calories to burn (doughnuts- yikes). We decided to walk around the mall as it was in walking distance. When we get to the door it is locked as well (a theme for our evening). I realized what time it was and became slightly overwhelmed. I had camp the next morning. I needed to be in bed. I needed to repack my basket of atlases into a bag because it may rain, and I would need one arm for an umbrella. As I talk this out (I'm a talker outer) my sweet mother in law pulls up. She took us to the car, and we unlocked the door while she waited, so we could give her the key back. In this key exchange I realized she didn't have a house key, so I gave her mine. Wooh. Finally! We get home. I go to the door only to realize I had just given my house key away AND that yellow car boy had left his keys at home- inside the locked house door. Praise the Lord though, we had just placed a spare key outside a few days before. Now it's really late. I still haven't repacked the atlases, and now I don't have a house key. As I always do, I talked this out. Then sleepy hit. When sleepy hits, I'm out. I get ready for bed annnnnnd never repacked the atlases or put a key on my key ring. The next morning I woke up a little later, ok maybe a lot later, than I had planned. I'm dashing around trying to get ready. I head to the car, and I remember the atlases and key. Oh no! I'm already running behind, but then, I see there is a house key on my key ring. I go back inside to grab my bag and remembered I had left it outside. I return to the carport. I can't find my bag. I'm running out of time. I decide I'll just carry the basket and pray it doesn't rain. I open my car door to place a few more things with the atlases, and guess what I found? There sat my bag. And that is love. That yellow car boy knew I was running late. He remembered my voicing concerns. He helped me. While we were caught at Krispy Kreme (yikes sugar, yikes calories), I'm thankful for the provisions the Lord provided that night. How wonderful to be able to afford a doughnut just because. How wonderful for a vehicle to drive around in. How wonderful to have spare keys. How wonderful we had given his parents a spare car key. How wonderful we had just hidden a spare key. How wonderful to have a husband that loves the way Yellow Car Boy loves. I just never knew what I needed, but God sure did! |
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Saved by God's amazing grace and living this divinely put together puzzle of a beautiful life He so graciously blessed. Archives
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