Before you begin, I feel like you should know, my editor- yellow car boy- had yet another late night at work and was unable to proofread, so this may be filled with grammatical errors. I'm asking for no judgement in advance. Thank you. Please read on.
Have you ever had a moment of self pity? In our egotistical society, I think it's easier than not for those moments to sink in. Today, I sat in the doctor's office, and I was hoping for an answer to the sickness that I can't seem to shake. Through a conversation with a friend, I realized how thankful I should be that there hasn't been an answer. Maybe that was God answering a prayer before I took the time to pray it. There are some people battling much worse things that not being able to find out exactly what's wrong, if anything is wrong. While waiting, I overheard a conversation about an abortion. My heart sank. Thoughts immediately flooded my mind. At first, I was shocked. I know I've read about abortions happening, but somehow I managed to make myself believe it was all fake, or that it couldn't happen in the south at least. Then, I was sad. That poor child. It was a human life, and it never had a chance. Never. My heart broke more. Then, I got mad. How selfish of that person. How could they do that? Some people can't even have children, and this person just aborted a life that could've been something amazing. Then God reigned me in. While I do not agree with abortion, at all, who was I to pass judgment? One, clearly I'm not God. Two, I have no idea what her life situation is- absolutely no idea. Have you ever found yourself drowning in life, and you make a poor decision? That decision could be an angry attitude towards someone undeserving or maybe it was an abortion, or maybe it was (fill in the blank). I'd say we've all at least been rude to an undeserving store clerk who happened to be the first person we came in contact with at the end of a long day. I sat down this afternoon, and I just needed to commune with God. I needed to walk with Him. I needed to talk to Him. I just needed some God and me time. I've let myself drown in life lately. I've allowed other things to take priority over my walk with God, and it happened without me being aware. I sat down, and I sank into 2 Samuel. I love, love, love the books of of 1 and 2 Samuel. I find myself getting swept away at how God used Saul and David. I find myself intrigued and waiting to see what happens next (which is funny because clearly the account hasn't changed). As I read 2 Samuel, I found myself confused. I wasn't sure who Sheba was or what the fuss was about. I found myself confusing the Northern and Southern Kingdom. Well, I'm pretty sure God had that laid out. He knew I needed to dig. As I dug, I stood amazed at David's life. God chose this simple man to press on for His glory. God chose little ol' David to do great big things. In that journey, little ol' David experienced some extreme hardships. Y'all, can you imagine being chased by Saul? Can you imagine not knowing what your next step might lead you into? I'm sure he experienced some extreme anxiety, but what I love about David, is he clung to the Lord. He could've smote Saul, but he didn't. He felt bad because he ripped his cloak! Me, in my flesh, may have framed that joker. Clearly that's why David was David, and I am not. (No really, I hope I wouldn't have that attitude, but I don't know that I wouldn't have.) David experienced so much heartache. He was the king for crying out loud. That in itself is enough anxiety to bring a man down. He lost multiple sons.. He mourned for Saul and Jonathan. He had great regret over his adultery with Bathsheba. The ten northern tribes turned against him! I mean, there are days I think I have too much on my plate, but wow, David had a lot on his plate. Through it all, while I'm certain he did, and we even read about times that he failed, he sought the Lord. He clung to the Lord. He refers to the Lord as his buckler, strength, high tower. In Psalm 51, we see him seeking God's forgiveness. In Psalm 18, we see his total dependence upon God. I'm just amazed at the legacy he left behind. That is when God hit me right in the pinky toe (isn't that the worst?). Sweet child of mine, what legacy will you leave behind? Are you going to be the crazy lady that can't get life together, or will people look at you and see Me? Clearly, He didn't refer to me as a crazy lady, that's just how I'm feeling these days. Dear Christian, people watch. They see how we handle the jawbreakers that this sin filled world sometimes throws at us. I'm so guilty of trying to handle it all on my own. That's so silly. God, the Creator of the universe, the One that so beautifully designed your lungs to breathe- on their own- is waiting to help me out. All I have to do is ask. No appointment is needed. All you have to have is a personal relationship with Him. And let me tell you, that's simple enough too. If you don't know Jesus, He wants you to. He was came to this earth in a lowly state, just so He could save you. And if there was not another soul on this earth besides you, He would've come anyway. He loves you so much He knows the number of hairs on your head (and I don't know about you, but my bathroom is a testament to how many I gain and lose in a day). To know Jesus, all you have to do is ask Him for forgiveness, recognize Him as your Savior, and repent. When we repent, we turn from our sinful ways. That doesn't mean you'll never sin. You will battle your flesh always until the day you go on to be with the Lord, but I promise you, your life will be different. Your want to's can't help but want to change. But that can only come from the Lord. What legacy will you leave behind? In your darkest days, what will people see in you? Will they see Jesus? Now don't get me wrong, there are things we experience in this life that are hard. God never said being a Christian meant life would be super pleasant. He actually told us to expect persecution. Things like cancer, lost loved ones, divorce, and other life trials are hard. And it's ok that they're hard. God didn't say put on a fake happy face. It's good to grieve. It's also good to lean on God. Even in our darkest days, God will stand with us. In your darkest day, think of David and his hardships. Trust in the Lord as your buckler.
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